Dental Jokes


 

What do you call a grizzly with no teeth?...A gummy bear.

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As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

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What did the dentist say to the golfer? "You have a hole in one."

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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

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When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the "Painless" dentist. However, a local little girl, called Gemima, disputed his claim.

"He's a fake!" Gemima told her friends. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he screamed like anyone else."

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A little boy, called Ben, was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling.

"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?

"I would prefer chocolate, please," replied Ben.

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Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed. 

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A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"
"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.

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Last week Grace went to the dentist's office for a checkup and music was playing. She was early for her appointment, but after waiting ten minutes, an elderly woman sitting beside her said, "isn't that just like a dentist? A waiting room jammed with people, and the dentist is in there playing the piano." 

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"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good God !" he said startled."You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen."
"OK Doc !" replied the patient."I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice."
"I didn't !" said the dentist. "That was the echo."

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A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novocain because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed."You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"
The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear." 

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Man: "Darling, your teeth remind me of the stars"
Woman: "Because they gleam and sparkle"
Man: "No, because they come out at night!" 

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Actual Names of Practicing Dentists
Dr. Pullman, Dr. Filler, Dr. Fear, Dr. Rensch (pronounced wrench), Dr. Pick, Dr. Tusk, Dr. Drewel (pronounced "drool"), Dr. Tucek (2thChk), Dr. Chu, Dr. Shugar, Dr. Pic, Dr. Pang, Dr. Butcher, Dr. Harm, Dr. Hurter, Dr. Toothaker, Dr. Lynch, Dr. Root, Dr. Nasti, Dr. Paine/Payne/Pain (15 entries but notably Dr. Daryl B Payne = "There Will Be Pain"), Dr. Smiley, Dr. Schotz, Dr. Hale (pronounced "hell" in southern), Dr. Bliss, Dr. Lancit, Dr. Gager, Dr.Eke

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An elderly patient went to have her teeth checked."Mrs. Hopgood, your teeth are good for the next 50 years." the dentist beamed.
To which she replied, "What will they do without me?" 

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Bible verse hanging in a dental office: Psalms 81:10:" . . . open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it." 

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What does the dentist of the year get?...A little plaque 

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What did the dentist see at the North Pole?...A molar bear 

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What was the dentist doing in Panama?...Looking for the Root Canal 

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Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100.
Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.

Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!!
Hey, WITH pain it costs $200 !!!, replies the dentist. 

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Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $200

Patient: $200 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly, if you like. 

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A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth.
The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet." 

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DENTIST is the most suitable male profession - the only man that can tell a woman when to open and when to shut her mouth, and get away with it. 

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While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling.
Nodding to me, she said, "Thank goodness my work is completed. I'm so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who's so gentle and understanding too. "When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor.
He laughed and explained, "Oh, that was just my Mother." 

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Pardon me for a moment, please," said the dentist to the victim, "but before beginning this work I must have my drill."
"Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably. "Can't you pull a tooth without a rehearsal?" 

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Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction.
Young dentist: Don't worry, it's my first extraction too. 

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Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.
Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other man.

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"Madam, 200 dollars for pulling your boy's tooth, please!" "200 dollars?! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only 40 dollars for such work!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office."

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A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for his first cleaning and check-up. The hygienist tried to strike up a conversation but no response. After the cleaning, the dentist was called in to do the final check.

The dentist tried to strike up a conversation as well: "How old are you?" No response. The dentist then asked: "Don't you know how old you are?" Immediately four tiny fingers went up.

"Oh," replied the dentist, "and do you know how old that is?" Four little fingers went up once again.

Continuing the effort to get a response, the dentist asked: "Can you talk?"

The solemn little patient looked at him and asked: "Yes! And can you count?"

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One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.

"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.

"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"

"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60."

"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."

"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20."

"Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"

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What did one tooth say to the other? Get your cap on, the dentist is taking us out tonight.

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Patient: Tell me honestly, how am I?

Dentist: Your teeth are fine, but your gums will have to come out.

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Why are false teeth like stars? Because they come out at night.

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What helps keep your teeth together? Toothpaste.

Note: All of the above dental jokes have been collected from different internet sources.

Location
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40986 California Oaks
Murrieta, CA 92562
Phone: 951-304-3044
Fax: 951-304-3285
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